Employee ID # 6997431

I used to work for Nordstrom, and I loved it. I spent many hours walking the same circuit around merchandise that I had memorized by size, price, and placement. The team I worked with was the kind of family that makes you laugh so hard you cry. While there, I devised a few ideas of what I would do if I were uninhibited. Well, I really am….

1. Underneath the ‘point of sale cashier,’ there is a trash bin that fits perfectly into a small cubby. We typically tossed old receipts, used Sonic happy hour cups, etc in this receptacle. I vote the best use of space would be one employee stocking themselves inside the space and waiting patiently until a coworker walks up to check a customer out at the register. This would be the perfect time to reach your hands outward and grab their legs.
2. The entire storefront is loaded with mirror-paned rectangular columns, some of which included outlets. Definitely a prime location to pull up a chair and blow dry my wet hair before the closing shift started, no?
3. The counter space is vast and two-tiered. I’ve always imagined performing the spectacle entitled ‘the splits’ on top of the upper-tier while people are perusing the merchandise.
4. The round racks of clothing have inspired a plethora of ideas. Apart from hiding away inside of them, I’ve always wanted to run as fast as I can pushing an entire reem of clothing out into the mall (essentially ‘temporarily stealing’ for kicks).
5. Sometimes I felt ill-dressed for a day of work (either freezing, burning, or just plain ridiculous). I never saw the problem with someone dressing from head to toe in floor merchandise and then just returning it to the hangars at the end of the day…
6. The dressing rooms most commonly used include the numbers ’11’ and ‘1’…they are only accessible via ’employee key’. During any lunch break, I’ve considered slipping into the ‘hot zones’ and seating myself on the corner bench, putting a paper towel on my lap, and dining. This would, of course, be most valuable when a fellow employee opens the door to let in an eager customer. Try explaining that weirdo.
7. Everyday at 9 pm sharp, the store closes and employees anxiously await the final 9:30 pm call, allowing them to empty the registers, log out of the system, and bring the money bags up to customer service. Some days were slower than others, and I would entertain the idea of emptying the cash drawers and nonchalantly bringing the money bags up at 3 pm…no big deal.
8. Sales people can be crazy. That’s why it’s awesome to mess with the ones who are the craziest (ie most territorial). I have always wondered what would be my fate if I ventured to other departments and/or floors and started asking ‘their’ customers if they needed any help finding anything. 
A few months after I left, some of my friends from work embarked on completing some of these tasks (number one displayed above). Nice to know you left a legacy!

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