Worlds of Fun



Friday night was my littlest brothers surprise 14th birthday…at Worlds of Fun.

Anyone who has known me roughly more than about 6 months has probably heard me spill this fateful story at some point. Ranked as one of the most embarrassing things that has ever happened to me, I refuse to ever set foot again on the premises of a Worlds of Fun.
Worlds of Fun is a popular amusement park and attraction in Kansas City; it’s where you go in the summer for a long day of rides, junk food, and people-watching. So when I was new to the area in the 6th grade, I was more than ecstatic to go with two ‘popular girls’ who asked me to come with them to the theme park. I thought I was so cool, and I knew this was my chance to impress. So I decked myself out in a complete outfit from The Limited Too and paired it with the uber-trendy Doc Marten sandals of the day.
The three of us rode out there with one of the girls’ parents. We had a long day of amusement park rides, dip n’ dots, cajun burgers, and plenty of caffeine. The parents decided they were going to ride the newest attraction, “The Mamba.” They took the third girl with them and left me with their daughter to wait until they finished. There was no way I was about to ride that insane contraption. So we vowed to stand by the dip n’ dots station and wait it out until they were done. In retrospect, it was about 45 minutes.
While standing patiently, the day started to catch up to me. I felt a churning in my stomach and asked my ‘popular’ friend if I could go to the restroom. She tersely said we had to wait for her parents. And wait we did. To this day, I cannot remember ever having as bad of a stomachache as I did that day. It got to the point where I was unable to really speak; I wasn’t even sure if I was going to be sick to my stomach for holding it in so long. Soon it was dusk and I embarrassingly asked a second time to use the restroom. After I got the same response, I started checking out my surroundings. I saw bushes and mulch, and I actually considered relieving myself on the plants. What happened next was a sort of out of body experience that I would prefer to forever keep that way. I don’t know how or why, but I let go. I went to the restroom (in full) in my drawers. I stood there in such a state of shock, completely mortified yet relieved…at the age of 13. It couldn’t have been but five minutes afterwards that her parents arrived. I asked to go to the restroom and waddled my way there. I shook my panties out and (naturally) put them back on. My mother swears to this day that I should have just flushed them, but I didn’t. We all corralled in the five-seater car for the hour-long ride home, which smelled remotely of cow manure.
Needless to say, I wasn’t invited on any ‘popular’ excursions after that, and have never experienced the likes of that amount of complete loss of judgement. But one things for sure, I’m not a fan of theme parks!

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