Caught in the Acai


You know how everyone has those moments when we think…’I’m just going to do this- against my better judgement- and I’m sure I won’t get caught.’ I just had one of those on Thursday.

I am not the kind of person usually prone to buy into any sort of herbal supplement or diet pill concept, and I still argue that what I was entertaining was far superior to these petty and ridiculous products. After months of hearing all about the Acai berry cleanses out there and how healthy people felt (not necessarily weight loss) I thought about giving it a go. I would never in my life dream of doing anything like this if I didn’t have a wedding in three months from…today. Well, my offhand comment to Bryan about an interest in the pills spiraled into a squabble about the assumed byproducts of the ingredients and their ultimate bodily results. I simmered down after the debate and non-verbally resolved that I wouldn’t really go through with my ‘notion.’
Fast forward to Thursday afternoon, where I’m on my lunch break and decide to go to Smoothie King where they are conveniently selling the ‘cleanse’ pack. I swipe for the pills and run to my car about as fast as I can. I shift into reverse and heavily back out of my parking spot. Heavily is the best word I can use to describe the incident because the power was out- somehow. The car continued to tango with me in a power on/power off dance that landed me somewhere in a handicapped space just to the left of Smoothie King.
I had to call Bryan and inform him of my whereabouts and what happened. When he arrived I grabbed my purse and my ‘goody bag’ of acai junk and he just looks at me. I have been caught acai-handed. I have (by some aligning in the universe) been served due justice for my quazi-deceptive actions. What’s worse is that I used the supplement that I bought for 2 days. You may count them. You may not, however, count the number of times I had to use the restroom.
Needless to say, I ditched the program and am haunted by a purple bottle that sabotaged my car (now in the shop) and abused the waste management program in my commode.

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