I am always a sucker for pranks. If there’s a dare that doesn’t involve public nudity or the real chance of being barred, I’m in. Sometimes, other people suggest them. But most of the time, I just come up with them myself. It’s a way of thrilling myself for amusement.
About six years ago, I attended a rehearsal dinner for my cousins’ wedding at a local dig called The Machine Shed (Yes, Timeless Treasures, this happened the night before you got married 🙂 It was a convivial night and I had driven over in my aunts van with both herself and my mom in tow. Through some chain of events, we had discovered that my aunt’s son was on a semi first date with a young lady at a nearby restaurant. He was in high school and couldn’t have been older than a freshman or sophomore at best.
My aunt, much more mischievous than my mom, suggested we casually drive by and see what they were up to. Never one to miss an awkward date, I volunteered to be the Peeping Tom. On our ride over to the restaurant, my mom was insisting that we should leave them alone while I was upping the ante. By the time we actually arrived, the metamorphosis of this innocent observance was a full-scale prank. Parked just out of eyesight of the couple (who were sitting and holding hands on a bench outside the restaurant waiting on a table=perfect), I hopped out of the ride. I had on a fitted dress, stilettos, and hair big enough to rival the cast of Steel Magnolias.
Stomping my heels fiercely into the ground, I swung my purse over my shoulder and quickly walked in their direction. My cousin looked up at first with a look of surprise, then the start of a smile to say hello (what an unlikely coincidence that I would be here as well?) Instead, I blurted out through my best attempt at passionate tears, “Who is this?!” His poor face. They look at each other, he’s beyond perplexed and has no words. “You didn’t even call me back!” I stammer. Now I notice she’s a bit uncomfortable and my joke is working. “Just, nevermind!” I yell back to him as I’m running like the wind trying to not let them see my tears turning into raging laughter.
I run around the corner in time for the mini van door to roll back as I barreled in the car. Apparently this did cause quite the commotion and more of an explanation on his part. Not necessarily because of his scandalous love affairs (with his cousin?) but more or less the sick-minded humor that apparently runs in our family. Years later, I found myself walking through the back rooms of a local movie theater to check out his business once again, no doubt fueled by my like-minded relatives. Lord help us.