As it turns out, Linen/Cotton is not the same setting as Synthetics or Silks. The iron is a delicate tool, meant to yield it’s desire for perfection in a controlled and well-organized manner. It is for women who wake up at 5:00 a.m. to start cooking breakfast in the dark, whilst sweeping the floors and pressing the shirts simultaneously. It is for people who appreciate purposeful creases, order, and a look that says, “yes, I’m expensive.”It is for people who don’t have to read the directions, know instinctually which dial to set and which lever to push. It is for women who own ironing boards and have never heard of Downy Wrinkle Release.
It is not for apartment kitchen counters, white towel barriers, and synthetic shorts. It said, “iron as desired,” but I didn’t desire this. I’m sorry Bryan, but you will have to wear your jeans tonight.
*After a lot of scrubbing, I discovered Barkeepers Friend to be the only solution to removing burnt pant fabric from an iron.