Oh Deer

“Do you like those?” He casually gestured towards the Christmas window display at a local furniture boutique. I zoomed in on the objects- a set of gilded deer, each standing just over a foot high. They were drenched in gold and glitter.
“No. They’re gaudy.” 
A couple of weeks later, he strolled through the house and said, “you’re not going to like what I got you for Christmas.” 
“Now why would you say that? That doesn’t make me excited about your gift.” I said.
“Well, I just know you won’t,” he said, “you said so yourself.”
{Insert neurons firing to bring about the image of the reindeer– NOOOO!}
We packed our trunk for our 8 hour drive to Kansas. He brought out a large gift-wrapped box and put in in the trunk. I pretended to look the other way. There was no way, right? Surely he would return the pair after knowing I wasn’t interested.
When we stopped in Oklahoma to stay the night at a hotel, I made sure to announce that we should clear out all of our baggage to deter any robbers. After three trips, he brought everything in but that box. 
“I think this is good enough,” I said. He looked long and hard at me, then fetched the box from the trunk.
On Christmas morning,  I opened this box to find (surprise) a pair of golden deer. I discovered them to be the most expensive golden deer I had ever seen. I decided fine, I would display them. We packed them up in the trunk for our journey home. 
As we were unpacking, one of the deer slipped out of his hands and shattered on the garage floor. 
This is the story of a Christmas gift I didn’t want that cost a lot of money that all the sudden I wanted again. Now there’s a plastic bag filled with deer bits in the Christmas closet, too nice to throw away, and a constant reminder to be careful what you don’t wish for.

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