Sal Story #11: Judging the Shoes

Shoes, like books, are meant to be judged superficially.

I can still hear the french door set clammering, ringing echoes through what would normally be a beautifully sunlit mid-town apartment.

Sal was on a “sexy shoe” kick. Whatever was hot, suggestive, edgy, raunchy…that’s what we were going for. Just the sheer fact that my (apparently) vanilla taste was interested in high heels over my typical flats was a major sign the tides were changing.

How many times we sat there, diligently working hard on the highest heels, the sexiest silhouettes, and bondage-style booties, only to be interrupted.

{insert shattering door sound noted above}

Out he emerged, breaking the peace, waving a ridiculous jungle-looking shoe above his head. As our eyes strained to fixate on the object of his angst, he yelled.

“Would you **** a girl wearing these shoes?!”

Considering we were all women- and were all straight women- we weren’t a fair population to survey. But regardless he went around the room asking for individual opinions. Most of us tried to answer the invisible question of “would I wear these?”

But that was it. That **** factor was the tipping factor. Does the shoe make the collection, or is it garbage? Is it one-night-stand worthy? If not, it’s not Sal-worthy.

Still, when I shop for shoes in department stores, I almost, almost, wonder this question aloud.

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