I may be a hypochondriac, but this one has gotten my tongue.
Last week, I went home to Kansas for what I consider the Midwest’s most expensive dental procedure. For years/my lifetime, I seem to have carried my stress well into my sleep, grinding my teeth until I was left with the most razor-sharp smile. As it was explained to me by my dentist, the mechanics of my chewing had gotten to the point of resembling a cow.
Six and a half hours of jaw-busting work. I heard all about how angry my dentist was with his son’s new in-laws (they were cheap AND they were taking his spot at next week’s Jersey Boys performance). I heard his opinions about a recent racial scandal on tv, and all about this November’s elections.
But, I came out the other side. Beautiful, brilliant teeth that now are the length of a normal tooth. I spent the day smiling at my teeth in the mirror, admiring the benjamin’s that went into making them whole again.
But it wasn’t until church that weekend that I realized something was amiss. Singing of peace and a savior, I realized it. I have a lisp. Where once was perfect harmony, now is a blocked and softened ‘s’ sound.
How does this happen? And now, I’m forced to answer the ultimate would-you-rather: Perfect Teeth or Lisp? 
Image from here. 

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